I finally got the grade back for my first methods of calculus exam and would like to brag about my 103%! I AM SO HAPPY AND WOULD LIKE TO SAY PRAISE JESUS! Wooo! Heavenly father has been so good to me this semester, he has given me the strength and motivation to do what I need to get done!
Liz-1
Methods of Calculus- not kicking Liz's butt at the moment!
I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble doing my math hw. I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. Math is supposed to be straight forward and to the point. And most of the time, I like it because it stimulates my brain cells while doing it , but right now it's hurting my brain. I AM GETTING A HEADACHE! I do not like this. I do not like this one little bit.
Methods of Calculus- 1
Liz- 0
kind of closure I had been looking for months ago. But I've certaintly had some closure with myself, and my inner being. The kind that leaves me at peace, and the kind that leaves Heavenly Father at peace. Forgiving others is probably one of the hardest things to do in our lives. However, there's no space for anger, regret, or grudges in heaven. I've never been there, No. But if it's anything like they talk about it at church than I must forgive and forget. Most of the forgetting was done, completely, 99.9%. The only thing left was to forgive. Brian ended up apologizing after all ... and I really did forgive him. Because at the end of the day... what help does it do, to hate him for the rest of my life? Jesus forgave many and I do follow him, yes. He is the greatest example to me in my life, and his teachings have only gratified me. Yeah, he (meaning Brian) didn't speak to me for an entire year, and I suffered and hated him for that. But in the end, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Brian and I won't be the best of friends. I no longer feel the way I did about him, nor will I ever. But in the end, what happened, happened. I believe that God had His reasons for completely removing him from my life. Sometimes, or atleast now I think I know exactly why. I'm thankful for this experience. I feel at peace with myself. I've forgiven. I am happy now. I like to blog because it gets my mind off of things, and since a lot has happened in the past three weeks, it shouldn't be questionable whether I should write or not. I went to Cuba on the 18th of May and returned on the 6th of June. I'm going to try to recap what some of the things I've done are and some of the adventures I've had, starting off with the first. On my way to burnt city or if we call it by it's actual name "Quemado de Guines" I had the great pleasure of meeting Adelito an attractive 26 year old who is married and has 2 kids. He took us home and I told him about the Hunger Games since I had been reading it in the car he kept asking me questions about the book and since I love talking about what I've been reading it was only natural for us to have a never ending conversation about the 13 districts, the games, and the contestants. When i got to my grandma's house she was in the shower. Naked and all as she was I greeted her. I love my grandma, even at the age of 83 she does and says the darnest of things. She lives a very old life style and so my aunts and I always have to remind her of the fact that we're living in the 21st century. I didn't do much there except jog every once in awhile and finish the hunger games. While I wasn't at my grandma's house I was at my little cousin Milena's house, where I met her small dog named Sam who pee'd on our very first greet. I didn't purposefully make that ryhme but anyways I didn't really visit the beach. I was able to go to a Baseball game. It was truly wonderful. I also got to eat many kinds of delicious fruits. Which gradually became a habbit, picking off fruits from tree's and eating like a mad woman. That's probably why I gained 8 pounds. No lie. I know, it's a lot! But I lost them all. I also went mountain climbing. Danced on two saturday nights like a maniac. It's like I had never heard music before. Like I was one of those little toys with string you pull that shakes everywhere. I went nike riding quite a lot. So much that I had a sore glutinous maximus. :(
My cousins and I rode the bikes one day to a river called St. Ramon. But it was all dried up when we got there. We were pretty bumbed out. I got to play dominoes with the old men from the neighborhood. And I also went to the pool... I took pictures of many old american cars. And well the list goes on. I went to la grande and ate fried rice and some delicious home made pizza :) YUM. I also got to see Borismiguels home. It was small, but nice. And welp, I miss my family. I hope they are well. <3
So here I am camping with everybody who was originally suppose to come on the trip, who would've thought right? I've had a lot of fun. We got to the marina quite late and we sat there in front of the loading dock just starring at the fish that swam by and after a awhile had gone by we finally decided to get up and purchase our boating tickets. They were 15 dollars, an unexpected price from what I had been previously told. Finally the captain had arrived and we gathered all the crap load of things we had purchased and had brought over to use for this trip. Indeed we packed a whole lot of things. We litetally got to the Island in like 3 minutes. Matt, Nick B., and I went to the office and checked in, I finallly payed the reservation and fire wood and off to site 15 and 16 we were. The amount of things that I had thrown on my back were probably the equivalent to the weight of 5 children. Yes, I had to carry that intense weight. As we jumped everything from one side.of the beach.to thr camo grounds we started slowly but surely getting.settled in.and Matt thankfully (our tent setting expert) took the lead and the initiative to set up what would be our homes for the next two days. Matt's tent which was propotional to the shape of a square and was the color blue was set up in about 15 minutes. It was quite impressive I have to say....then afterwards I opened up Brother Cano's tent and we began the hectic work of setting up what I like to call our "woman cave." And afterwards our tents really were gendered, the boys would be sleeping in a blue tent and the girls in a red tent. Our coolers were then set up, one with meats, the other with fruits, and then the third once Karol arrived contained drinks (or something like that). We were pretty much starving and so Nick whipped us up some amazing chicken patties. They were delicious, even with the lack of seasoning. We recycled our plates and fueled up on Capri sun pouches, which were probably one of my most favorite childhood drinks, especilly when it came to coming to the beach. I grabbed my bathing suit, threw it on and lay on the sand by then. The shore started to bother me and practically reached the tip of my toes at one point. I tryed to read "A Fault In Our Stars", but let's be real, it didn't happen. My legs were stinging after trying to submerge myself into the salt water. Tomorrow I would try again, because frankly going to the beach and not going into the water shouldn't be allowed. TO BE CONTINUED.
Today is my first day of summer and I can't even fathom the fact that I won't be taking any more exams this week. It's one of those things that happens, but hits you after it occurs. I'm glad though. I wasn't sure if I could handle another biology exam. Yesterday, while I was taking the final I couldn't happen to think as I got through every question that I was almost there, one step closer to the last question. I was one of the last ones out of the room. I'm not really sure how I did either. My intentions were to just try to finish the 105 questions. There were so many genetics problems. So many annoying problems. And you can't just breeze through them. Do many questions involving diseases and a whole lot of other mumbo biojumbo... I did check my grade though, I got an 82 on my final. Now all that is left is to do very well next semester. WOOO!
Yesterday was probably one of the craziest days of my life. I don't mean this in a good way either... I went to work at 9am. That usually never happens because I've been working night shifts at Ross for the past 6 months. So I had to adjust quickly and I didn't do to bad either... I finished 2 and a half boxes and well there were many more left... after work I ran out of the store so I wouldn't have to take a lunch break. On my way home I called Pauleen my old Color Guard Instructor, she had texted me the night before to talk about a job opportunity. Yes, you've heard correct a job opportunity! My high school needs another techinician. I will be teaching. Anyone who knows me knows that I've always wanted to do this. And l would be working close to home. I am excited. There are other things I need to worry about... but I'll discuss that later. I was on my way to school to pick up my friend Raiza, she's actually going to be sleeping over all weekend for camping trip on Monday and Tuesday. I am excited for that too. But more things came up through out the day... I found out that Raiza and Nick were dating which was extremely surprising. Then I found out that one of our friends was well... he was into the same sex. I had had my suspicions but I had never brought it up. Because those types of things aren't the kind of things you just ask out loud. Especially in large groups of people. Then a bomb came rushing down to earth when I found out my friend Gabriel wasn't even going to come camping with us. And the remainder of the night was like a roller coaster. I had my friend Gabe being overly sensitive about him and a frienship he had with someon else. Sometimes unfortunatley I just wish people would move on. It's important in life to not let others come inbetween the way of your happiness. You can't let outhers control you. And my friend was trying to do too much avoiding. It's not healthy. I stayed up very late reading "A Fault In Our Starts." Reading seems to make every pain, and every weird thing going on your life go away. It's a magical and amazing thing.
Reading is truly awesome.
I guess it's just timing and the other half just luck. I guess its just about being at the right place at the right time. But I'm not sure what's next. How do you know when you meet someone, that they will become important? And so I stand here contemplating my plans for the summer and whether you'll be involved in them or not. But the truth is I am not in love with you, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. Only god knows my plan. Yet I have some say in it, I choose to be righteous, and to be of good faith. I choose eternal life. What do you choose? I am not certain. Your plans for the future I have not learned of, and the things of your past I will never know. What I do know is that, I am seeking someone. But I am not certain, that this someone is you. I appreciate your company, yes I do. The fact that I haven't had a connection with someone from the opposite sex in over the past 6 months was growing on me. So you were there as my comforter. Because everyone, whether they've denied it or not, know that they long for someone too. But you and I are very different. Not only is age a key playing factor but our personalities are too. I go back to the laws of my being, to the guidelines of my existance, and to the rules that I've set up for myself. I no longer wish to love or let go, but to live and be happy. I've seen it before too, it's either friends before lovers or foes after what was called being "in love." And so I choose a regretless summer filled with friends and friendships, and a whole lot of me. An entire period of time dedictated to fitness, and my bucket list of course. I choose to make friends and spend time with family. I choose to not say goodbye when you leave, and have the feelings of hopelessness stuck in my chest. I choose to seek god and to seek him more than anything. I also choose some change. Some scriptures and what it truly means to be a Mormon. I choose to join the Marching band at FAU and to quit Ross after this summer. I choose to not live on campus and save myself some money. I choose a lot of things yes. But I do not choose you. I do not cast you away, no. I cast away regret and the feelings of making the wrong decision. I choose to grab ahold of my feelings and the emptyness that I've felt from having no one and choose to not let them turn into anything more than that. I choose a great summer and a great decision. I choose a whole lot more things too. I will be posting my bucket list soon...
and so building up a wall of feelings for someone isn't on my list. I've met someone of my faith... that is true, and although it is certaintly the first time, it most definitely won't be the last. I will get to know you more, yes. And we might spend some time together. But, I've come to believe that you won't be my first MBF. I chose wisely and I didn't choose you.
So I'm watching the new season of Awkward, and as much as I hate television and as much as I tell myself my kids and I won't have cable... I LOVE THIS SHOW. So yeah, If you've never watched it, do yourself a favor! WOOOOOO, time to be obsessed about a new season of Awkward and blog about it, like I've done here.
I dont think anyone understands how great this is going to be. For everyone, including myself, I have so many wonderful plans. I can't wait! I made a list, as always do, and hopefully I can accomplish most of the things on it. It ahould be great. I've started my vegan eating already. I'm eating more salads for dinner, and I've been grocery shopping as well. Brianna and I will go to Georgia, and I'm planning on going to the Keys with my FAU friends... I've been going to the gym all week and I'm starting to eat less... it's a little hard. I'm not going to lie, but what's gotta be done, has to be done. It's now or never. And I'm already starting to see some results. Other than becomng really tan, I'm also going to Cuba for longer than I've ever been before. I'm not sure If I'm going to take ENC 1102 during the summer. I don't really want to. I plan on pranking Juan's car.... and taking Haverhill to the dog park. There aren't any excuses for not dedicating time to him. And these past couple of months I've fallen short of that. I want to go bike ridng with Connie, and maybe even finish my picture projects for church. This summer will be great and I know it. I am joining the maching band this fall. Life as I know is going to get a little more interesting. I know wirh everything comes difficulties but its possible, as long as I believe.
I am excited for the summer. I am excited to work. To go to cuba. To kearn some french. I am excited to have finally finished biology. I am excited for friendships. I am excited for sleep. I am excited for weightloss. I am excited for keywest. I am excited about my bucketlist. But most if all i am excited about change, summer here you come :)
<p>I've decided theres something missing in my life and I'm going to do something about it. During my years of high school I used to do something that I loved with all of my heart, something that meant the world to me. But I'm honestly not the same person without it... I miss doing marching band! I miss being a part of the Color Guard, doing things that made me happy. Being a part of a group that meant so much to me. I'm not sure what the fau band is like, but if they're anything like John I's Band, I'll be very excited. Try outs were on the 30th of March, but I wasn't able to make it... I looked online and I have to make up my own routine and stuff, I'm not sure how I feel about that. But if it means being a part of the FAU marching band, then I got dis! Heavenly father knows how nostalgic I get when I watch my old band videos. He knows everything. He knows that Color Guard is literally a lifestyle. It was my first religion before i became a Mormon. And I haven't practiced it for an entire year. How does that feel? I'm dying inside, that's how it feels! But what can't I wait for? The moment for me to perform infront of the entire university. Then will I feel complete. Because only someone who's done colorguard before understands the feelings you get before a performance. And only a true color guard member will ever understand the satisfying feel you recieve after giving your heart out to an entire group of uncalculable amounts of people. The feeling after a performance is everything. This is why I LOVE COLOR GUARD.<3
So on thursday I was very lucky! Why you ask? Because at school every two weeks some people come and sell plants and fruits, and all matter of things. Everytime they come though they leave as soon as I go to purchase something... finally I went on Thursday and there they were packing everything they had brought... I bought two lovely plants. What kind of plants are they? In all honesty I have no idea... maybe Yusimi would know, but anyways they were beautiful! And I had made it on time just before they left... the plants weren't too expensive either... one of them was 6 dollars and the other was 12... they were pretty big and If I had gone to Home Depot I wouldn't have gotten such a great bargain! So my plants are outside now, I absolutely positively love them! There they are, this is what I have so far... to start off my plants collection! LONG LIVE THE PLANTS! :)
So last Wednesday I was able to spend some spare of time with my best fruend Brianna for her Birthday, I had a great time, we watched a really nice movie and we were able to eat some froyo, yum<3 but what I want ti make a goal is that for my next birthday in October I would like to buy myself a very nice dress from Anthropologie :)
And if that doesn't happen that atleast once during my lifetime will i buy myself one of these lovely, one of a kind, unfortunately very expensive dresses! ATLEAST ONCE!
So I took my biology exam on Tuesday, and I'm very sure I've never studied so hard for an exam ever. Last exam didn't go quite so well. A 42% wasn't going to cut, not even for the unbrightest of students. I studied a lot though, I understand the cell along with each type, the structure if its organelles and its function, metabolism, enzyme activity, the plasma membrane, cellular respiration. And if that wasn't enough it also covered photosynthesis . So i took the weekend, monday night and friday as the time to either make or break my exam grade... although I feel confident the grades aren't up yet, and I'm not sure how I feel... we'll see.
So the grades are finally up and they were posted on Tuesday after class of course Doctor Frazier told us during class that the grades had been put up and all of us were freaking out sitting there before the lecture had started finally we got out of class I logged on to Blackboard, hands shaking, feet trembling, and my heart beating. I was standing there as they checked my grade heartbroken only to find out that my grade was a 52 percent not only had i failed the exam but I had wasted my spring break...
It's Tuesday now, and yesterday I found out what my grade was I got into biology lifeline and right as I came in to sign in I heard from Alvaro and raiza that our grades had been changed and that all of them were incorrect, I realized that I had not only second guessed myself but I knew that the Lord my God lives yet again, because I had prayed so much and because he has given me the strength to study the amount that I had. If there is anyone out there who lacks wisdom let him ask God for he truly does live and loves children, He will do anything so that they may be happy. Thank you...
Im on the train right now and there is a woman, and i am just cracking the heck up right now... all i know is everything in her refrigerator has gone bad, her cream cheese is bad, her eggs smell bad... she doesnt want to risk it, ya know. The cheese seems okay. Its yellow cheese slices. Onions and garlic? Her butter... well it was in the tupawear... holy hillariousness!
The train, it gets you everywhere and it can be a very crowded place, depending on the time of day... today was an interesting ride in the morning...I sat on the very first floor because for the first time in awhile there was actually some space! Of course as soon as I sit down a man in front of me who was on the phone hangs up, turns around, and then, starts talking to everyone... his voice was scratchy and you can tell he was drunk... he started talking about some woman, and then he started singing, it was all a little amusing, up untill the point where he started talking about God, and he said..." God almighty! Oh God, if there was a God...." this man was drunk, yes. But i felt bad for him, not because he was slow with his speech, or that he got up and off at the wrong stop and then came back, nor because he told himself that he would stop talking because he realized no one was listening... but I felt bad because he wasn't aware of the goodness of God. This man, on the train was not aware of his Heavenly Father. As bad as things may get, whether you are homeless, or you have no family, or maybe you've lost all kinds of hope, you are merely nothing, without the knowledge of God, and the love for your Heavenly Father. No matter how bad times may get, nor difficult our trials may become they can only become worst without a faith in our God and his son the savior of the world, Jesus Christ. God will always and forever continue to strengthen his followers :) Disruptive as he was I hope I can see him again, maybe I can show him a thing or two about God.
I could probably stare at you till forever.
That is if i lived that long.
And we're opposites, ya know baby... but not by too far.
And baby i could write you a love song. And maybe you'd would fall in love. Maybe i could send you some flowers. And you'd send me a thousand daisys. Each signifying my hots for you.
Today was an all around great day and and it still hasnt ended! I woke up and got 4 hours of sleep... healthy right? We ended up getting up around 4 and going to this sea food called bentos, and if you know me at all i hate sea food but i really loved it! After that we went to walmart and now we're going out to eat, its 27 degrees outside,and im not sure if i remember a time this cold out! I geared up though, and im hungry! I can eat a horse. Seriously.
Im on my way to Gainsville right now, this morning was crazyy. I woke very late due to the fact that i had gone to bed late doing my hw of course, steems to me like the older i get the harder it is to do things, the days get busier and the hours get shorter. I got to school roughly on time, thanks to the florida weather. I got a 54 percent on my first quiz, and an 85 on the test, not to bad considering the fact that i studied for neither. I ended up telling Lismary that on tuesdays and thursdays we would study and do our hw together at the library! She agreed so soon my grades will improove they have to! Also, after getting home brianna my mother and i rushed to the service plaza, and the bus wasnt even there! We made our first pit stop at 2:36 and finally after getting on the bus and sitting back down the young black man sitting next to me told me some bird had crapped on my jacket! JUST MY LUCK! I cleaned it up with some wet towel, im still on my way, going to get some hw done(: bai
So tomorrows valentines day and im only looking forward to seeing one person, no ones going to get me anything special, and im not sure if i want anything, also both valentines dances for church were awesome. I got to dance with brianna and gus and luis and some 36 year old dude, it wasn't the highlight of my night... i promise!! the youth dance was very very fun. Surprisingly funner then the ysa dance, and i actually danced! With a 16 year old, yep, sort of the highlight of the night haha<3
Welp another valentines day aloneee, WOOOOOO! (:
this year gods with me though, and he'll always love me, not like that! But chu knoeeeee (:
Hes always there for me!
