The thoughts of Liz...

I guess it's just timing and the other half just luck. I guess its just about being at the right place at the right time. But I'm not sure what's next. How do you know when you meet someone, that they will become important? And so I stand here contemplating my plans for the summer and whether you'll be involved in them or not. But the truth is I am not in love with you, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. Only god knows my plan. Yet I have some say in it, I choose to be righteous, and to be of good faith. I choose eternal life. What do you choose? I am not certain. Your plans for the future I have not learned of, and the things of your past I will never know. What I do know is that, I am seeking someone. But I am not certain, that this someone is you. I appreciate your company, yes I do. The fact that I haven't had a connection with someone from the opposite sex in over the past 6 months was growing on me. So you were there as my comforter. Because everyone, whether they've denied it or not, know that they long for someone too.  But you and I are very different. Not only is age a key playing factor but our personalities are too. I go back to the laws of my being, to the guidelines of my existance, and to the rules that I've set up for myself. I no longer wish to love or let go, but to live and be happy. I've seen it before too, it's either friends before lovers or foes after what was called being "in love." And so I choose a regretless summer filled with friends and friendships, and a whole lot of me. An entire period of time dedictated to fitness, and my bucket list of course. I choose to make friends and spend time with family. I choose to not say goodbye when you leave, and have the feelings of hopelessness stuck in my chest. I choose to seek god and to seek him more than anything. I also choose some change. Some scriptures and what it truly means to be a Mormon. I choose to join the Marching band at FAU and to quit Ross after this summer. I choose to not live on campus and save myself some money. I choose a lot of things yes. But I do not choose you. I do not cast you away, no. I cast away regret and the feelings of making the wrong decision. I choose to grab ahold of my feelings and the emptyness that I've felt from having no one and choose to not let them turn into anything more than that. I choose a great summer and a great decision. I choose a whole lot more things too. I will be posting my bucket list soon...
and so building up a wall of feelings for someone isn't on my list. I've met someone of my faith... that is true, and although it is certaintly the first time, it most definitely won't be the last. I will get to know you more, yes. And we might spend some time together. But, I've come to believe that you won't be my first MBF. I chose wisely and I didn't choose you.

So I'm watching the new season of Awkward, and as much as I hate television and as much as I tell myself my kids and I won't have cable... I LOVE THIS SHOW. So yeah, If you've never watched it, do yourself a favor! WOOOOOO, time to be obsessed about a new season of Awkward and blog about it, like I've done here.

Thoughts about the summer...

I dont think anyone understands how great this is going to be. For everyone, including myself, I have so many wonderful plans. I can't wait! I made a list, as always do, and hopefully I can accomplish most of the things on it. It ahould be great. I've started my vegan eating already. I'm eating more salads for dinner, and I've been grocery shopping as well. Brianna and I will go to Georgia, and I'm planning on going to the Keys with my FAU friends... I've been going to the gym all week and I'm starting to eat less... it's a little hard. I'm not going to lie, but what's gotta be done, has to be done. It's now or never. And I'm already starting to see some results. Other than becomng really tan, I'm also going to Cuba for longer than I've ever been before. I'm not sure If I'm going to take ENC 1102 during the summer. I don't really want to. I plan on pranking Juan's car.... and taking Haverhill to the dog park. There aren't any excuses for not dedicating time to him. And these past couple of months I've fallen short of that. I want to go bike ridng with Connie, and maybe even finish my picture projects for church. This summer will be great and I know it. I am joining the maching band this fall. Life as I know is going to get a little more interesting. I know wirh everything comes difficulties but its possible, as long as I believe.

I am excited for the summer. I am excited to work. To go to cuba. To kearn some french. I am excited to have finally finished biology. I am excited for friendships. I am excited for sleep. I am excited for weightloss. I am excited for keywest. I am excited about my bucketlist. But most if all i am excited about change, summer here you come :)